Dealing With Toxic Colleagues

By Graham Jones

Introduction

I spoke with a friend recently, and she told me about a difficult situation she is having at work involving the toxic behaviour of a colleague, so I thought it would be an interesting topic to explore.  We know that dealing with a toxic colleague can be a challenging and draining (both physically and emotionally) experience. Their constant negative behaviour can affect not only your well-being but also the overall atmosphere of the workplace. In this article, I will explore the dynamics of toxic relationships at work and provide practical strategies for protecting yourself against their toxicity.

How Do I Recognise Toxic Behaviour?

Here are some common traits and behaviours you’ll see exhibited by your toxic colleagues:

  1. Constant negativity: Toxic colleagues have a pessimistic outlook and focus on problems rather than solutions. They complain excessively and drain the energy of those around them.
  2. Manipulative behaviour: Toxic colleagues often manipulate situations to their advantage, using gaslighting, spreading rumours, or withholding information.
  3. Lack of accountability: They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and often blame others for their mistakes or failures.
  4. Undermining and sabotaging: Toxic colleagues may intentionally undermine your work or sabotage your projects to make themselves look better or gain a competitive edge.
  5. Bullying and harassment: They engage in verbal or emotional abuse, belittling others, spreading rumours, or creating a hostile work environment.

How Do I Protect Myself Against Toxic Colleagues

With a better understanding of toxic behaviour, let’s explore some strategies to protect yourself from the negative impact of toxic colleagues:

  1. Set clear boundaries: Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries is crucial when dealing with toxic colleagues. Clearly communicate your expectations and limits, and firmly assert yourself when those boundaries are crossed.
  2. Practice self-care: Considering your well-being is essential when facing toxic colleagues. Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as exercise, mindfulness, and hobbies outside of work. Surround yourself with positive influences and seek support from friends, family, or a trusted mentor.
  3. Document incidents: Record any toxic incidents or interactions with your colleague. Document each occurrence’s dates, times, and details, including any witnesses. This documentation can be helpful if you need to report the behaviour at a later stage.
  4. Seek support from allies: Identify allies within your workplace who can offer support and guidance. These individuals can provide advice, act as witnesses to toxic behaviour, and help you navigate difficult situations.
  5. Communicate assertively: Practice assertive communication when addressing issues with a toxic colleague. Clearly and respectfully express your concerns, focusing on specific behaviours and their impact. Avoid becoming defensive or confrontational, as this can escalate the situation.
  6. Report the behaviour: If the toxic behaviour persists or escalates, consider reporting it. Provide the documented incidents as evidence and emphasise the negative impact on your well-being and productivity.

Conclusion

Dealing with a toxic colleague requires awareness, resilience, and proactive strategies.  My list, I’m sure, isn’t exhaustive; however, it’s a good start to work from. These are some simple, practical steps you can take to protect yourself.